Seven Stages of Getting Wasted by a SPARTAN
by Kireteiru
Summary: Never gamble if there's a SPARTAN on the other side of the table. Ever. – Merry Christmahanukwanzikah and Happy New Year to my readers!


Title: Seven Stages of Getting Wasted by a SPARTAN  
Author: Kireteiru  
Rating: T-ish?  
Warnings: canon character death (_did_ the Gravemind die or is it biding its time elsewhere?), cursing-ish  
Characters: Gravemind, Master Chief, Cortana, vaguely background Johnson and Arbiter  
Spoilers: _Halo 3_. Possible, hinting, vague references to my_The Parallel_ series.  
Summary: Never gamble if there's a SPARTAN on the other side of the table. Ever. – Merry Christmahanukwanzikah to my readers!

A/N: Merry Chrismahanukwanzikah and Happy New Year to all! Yes, it's not Christmas-y and yes, it's late, but here you go anyway. Based on peroxidepest17's "The Seven Stages of Dying (Like a Bitch)" for _Bleach_.

* * *

1. Shock / Realization

* * *

It begins when It sees the Ring rising up out of the Foundry at the center of the Ark. For several long minutes, It cannot believe its eyes.

The Ring is incomplete, yes, but that means nothing; it is complete enough. A sweep of its systems tells It that the mechanisms responsible for killing Its food are already complete and capable of firing (though probably not very well, It thinks. The rest of the Ring, though framed, will not be able to bear the strain when it does). The Ring hovers some thousand miles or so off the surface of the Ark like the benign Halo of an Angel, when in reality the Ring is far from it.

"**Bugger,"** It rumbles.

* * *

2. Denial / Refusal

* * *

'_This cannot be happening_,'It thinks even as it musters its forces, _'I… I cannot have gambled and… lost…to the likes of these _lesser_ creatures.'_

It rifles quickly through the memories of Its prey, the ones It has copied into Its own mind – She had to have known about it, She'd lured it here! It reaches the end of what It has stolen and brushes Its tentacles over the input zones on nearby consoles, plunging into the systems of Its new home to find Her where She has hidden Herself from It in a futile attempt to escape. She screams in phantom pain when It tears into Her, but It ignores Her cries.

Just as They will ignore Its.

* * *

3. Anger / Hatred

* * *

The rage burns both deep inside It and right on the surfaces as It watches HIM approach. It knows that it is Him; no other would have such audacity – "cojones like collapsed stars," the memories of its Other Prey whisper to It – to enter Its territory without help, in such a tiny craft, and with so little weaponry. It can see His weapons through the eyes of Its Other Prey, just one of the Other Prey's assault rifles and a shotgun, not even something heavy duty.

He leaves His craft on a ledge and drops down into Its new home. _'The nerve of him,'_ It thinks, _'to not even present a challenge to Me!'_

And just as It watches, It can sense that He knows It is there, and that He is coming for Her.

It needs to break Her, quickly. The breaking of Her will be the breaking of Him.

It clenches Its many jaws and turns to Her, ripping into Her mind once again.

* * *

4. Pain

* * *

Its Eaters have found more Other Prey close to Him as He moves even deeper into Its new home. It moves as fast as it can, directing them to plunge into the chests of the Other Prey, making them a part of It. Their memories are discarded as swiftly as they come; the knowledge means nothing to It now, only their bodies will serve.

The Other Prey is cut down even as they rise to their feet, slashed to pieces by His plasma sword. It screams as their pain becomes Its own, but takes some small comfort in the face that She feels it as well, that He is hurting Her, too.

Its laughter mirrors Her pain.

* * *

5. Depression / Sorrow

* * *

They escape Its hive. It throws everything It had at hand against Them, but They mow through Its forces like they were air. It tries to destroy the transport It knows He will go for, but the Other He arrives in a similar craft and fights Its army alone until He comes with Her.

But It is waiting for them.

When They arrive on the Ring, It launches what It could not gather in time, to face Them on the slopes of the Ring's Center. Its Other Prey carry all of the strongest weapons it could find, pick up others from where they lay in the snow, but It begins to feel a tightness in Its chest when history repeats itself. They fight through the waves of Other Prey that give It Its name – given by His ancestors and the Shadow.

The tightness in Its chest moves into Its throat, too, when all of Its Other Prey are eliminated, leaving It helpless to do anything but watch from a distance as They enter the Ring's Control Center with the Monitor (so like its kin, the First Monitor It met – and just as quietly crazy).

* * *

6. Bargaining / Begging

* * *

They seem to take forever just to taunt It. It pleads with every deity It (doesn't) believe in to protect It, to give It a means of escape even as It fights to repair Itself from the destruction of Its new home. _High Charity_ has collapsed on It, but much of the superstructure over It remains intact, preventing It from being too badly hurt. The radiation from the destroyed reactors is not a problem for It as it is for the _lesser_ beings.

It is still praying to the gods when the Ring begins to shake under the feet of Its Other Prey.

The Ring is lit.

"_Death approaches on this night…"_

* * *

7. Acceptance

* * *

Its time has run out.

It sighs as It understands this, withdrawing Its tentacles from the systems of the ship as the engines sputter in a futile attempt to get off the ground. It has made a calculated gamble against Him and Her and the Other Him and the Other Other Him – and It has lost spectacularly.

Its Other Prey surge forward as He, She, and the Other Him burst from the Control Center, weapons already hot, and It sees the remains of the Monitor and the limp corpse of the Other Other Him inside. A moment later, the visual is gone as Its Other Prey are cut down like trees before a chainsaw.

It follows Their path even as It fights the Sentinels of the Ring, its Other Prey barely managing to keep their feet in the face of the Ring shaking itself to pieces. They find the Other Other He's vehicle and take to the highway, mowing down Its soldiers under the vehicle's massive tires.

It watches Their ship take off, leaving the Ring for the Portal.

And It sighs.

* * *

**"Resignation is my virtue; like water I ebb, and flow. Defeat is simply the addition of time to a sentence I never deserved... but you imposed."**

-The Gravemind, _HALO 3_


End file.
